WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
