but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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