my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
