sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
