I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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