I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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