a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
