im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
