My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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