oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
