alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
