Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize