Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
