I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
