Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
