I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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