So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
well you can't waste a boner
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
