After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
