and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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