8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
