You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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