I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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