My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
