A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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