no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize