I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Randomize
