Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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