I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
