3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
