i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
zippers are such a cool invention
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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