i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
