Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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