After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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