Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
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I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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