I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
third nipple confirmed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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