Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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