You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just fell off a train. Bad.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
