We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
where am i from again
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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