i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
