I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
