i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
