i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
