The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
