the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
