the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
