I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
