Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
