I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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