No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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