I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
