Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
