She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
