make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
