Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
