its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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