my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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