Soap is not a condiment
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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