Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
