I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
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I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"