I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think I am morally bankrupt
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
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Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.