Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(614): View more from Ohio

just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.

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(815): View more from Illinois

walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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(734): View more from Michigan

The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone

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