So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
