I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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