jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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